How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
