Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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