oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
im holly from the hills drunk
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
