theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
