why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
