toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
