i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
