she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He has the fingertips of a God
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