Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize