i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
