so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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