Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
