Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
