Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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