You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
