I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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