So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Someone came in the potted fern
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
