Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
