The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
