Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
