are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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