I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
