My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
