Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
