I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize