You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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