woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
