I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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