is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
