everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
