Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
