You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
