I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
