the day after is always just damage control
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
