elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
