so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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