So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
