Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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