is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
