i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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