I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
