Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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