Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
