i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
