you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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