whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
