i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
