He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Is it because I queefed?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
