I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize