Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize