I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
