You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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