That's intense
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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