i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
