just tell him i said nine months
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm at about main and main street
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
