I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
