Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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