He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
