If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
