i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
